Vulnerability

I cannot claim to be an expert on vulnerability, that title belongs to Brene Brown. Through her work, I have learned that being vulnerable is key to major breakthroughs in life. The opposite of this is true as well. Being unwilling to take risks, fearing failure or embarrassment, leads to stilted growth and eventual regression. The unwillingness to struggle in the short term leads to eventual major disappointment. That struggle is unpleasant, painful, draining, aggravating, defeating, and necessary.

As a teacher, vulnerability arises when teaching a new grade level or content area. It happens when a re-designed lesson is taught for the first time, a new resource is used, and when being observed. Leaders face vulnerability when launching a new initiative and taking questions from stakeholders. Coaches face vulnerability when they meet with a new client or a client who operates outside the coach's wheelhouse of knowledge or skills.

Humans are adept at procrastinating, which is a physical response to avoiding discomfort. But the idea that something needed to change means that discomfort already exists. Procrastinating on a change because the process itself is uncomfortable means being ok with the original problem. And by procrastinating enough, by the time we need to teach the topic again or follow through with the implementation of the initiative it is too late. We do the same old thing over and over, in the Groundhog Day of Life.

The challenge is to metaphorically break through the concrete keeping the flower from blossoming. Motivation is found through either necessity because of overwhelming pain or a powerful vision of the benefits of the struggle. The circle of teachers, leaders, and coaches collaborating leads to the ultimate achievement.

The pressure of being the expert in the room, be it teacher to student, administrator to teacher, or coach to either, leads to a sense of perfection. Most people in these roles have always been high achievers, so failure is not an option for them. To then be responsible for others' success adds another layer of force. But often the added attempts at perfection or proof of competence lead to overcomplication or an air of being aloof.

A great experience I had was leading a professional development discussing the nerves of being an evaluating administrator and having teachers observe me teaching a class of students. My belief was that as someone rating the quality of others' instruction, I had to be beyond perfect in all areas of our instructional rubric. The perspective a teacher gave in response was eye-opening and freed me to by myself. He stated, "I want to see you make mistakes as it makes me feel better about myself. I'm more willing to work with someone going through it with me than someone I don't think I can be like."

That allowance to make mistakes freed me to be open to telling anyone to come in at any time, especially when it was something new and I didn't have it perfected. For teachers whose careers may depend on classroom observation scores, I understand the need to have excellent lessons while being assessed. This flies in the face of the point of an observation which should be growth. Coaches are the outstanding intermediaries to provide observation facts and non-judgmental feedback. Coaches can then speak in general terms of the needs of the staff for leaders to optimize resource allocation.

For the Venn Diagram above to be an actionable truth and not a desired outcome, all parties need to be vulnerable. Those moments build trust and promote growth. Hiding behind doing something because it has always been done or is the easy, safe, but mediocre approach will not. In the comments, please add your thoughts on the pain and value of being vulnerable.

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