Gaining trust

Trust is Paramount

Stephen Covey’s book The Speed of Trust identifies four pillars of trust building: integrity, intent, capabilities, and results. Each pillar must be repeatedly demonstrated to build trust, which teachers, leaders, and coaches need to succeed. If they are not visible and tangible, trust will be built slowly or, worse, eroded.

My favorite definition of integrity is that integrity is how we act when we think no one is watching. There was a psychology class at my high school when I was a student that would perform active experiments. One day, I unwittingly took part in one of these. I was walking to my locker down a back hallway, and a girl I did not know was on her hands and knees, searching the carpet for something as I turned the corner. I almost tripped over her and then asked her what she was doing. She told me she had lost a contact lens and was looking for it. I dropped onto all fours and crawled around for a while, trying to help her find it. After a couple of unsuccessful minutes, I apologized for having to get back to class and left. The entire time, her psychology class was looking out their classroom door, watching this happen. It turns out I was the only person out of 15 students who stopped to try and help her. Shortly after this, I first heard that definition of integrity, and man, I was glad I stopped to help her (even though it was a setup!).  

I have often thought about that when I want to do something I know is wrong, especially if I do not think anyone is. What if they are? How would I feel knowing someone knows what I did? It has stopped me from doing something bad more times than I am proud of. But I am pleased to have my integrity intact. I keep integrity at the forefront of my mind when making decisions. It guides me in making decisions I can sleep well with, treating people in ways that are just and kind, and clearly communicating why I act the way I do.

Intent is a chicken-and-egg concept when I relate it to trust. Does someone trust that a person's intent is good because of their position and standing, or does experience with that person build trust about their intent? Most children automatically trust that their parent's and teachers' intentions are in their best interest. A new hire will trust that their direct supervisor's intent is support. A new teacher will trust that a coach will give them good guidance and feedback. But when entering a new relationship, say a veteran teacher with a newly hired supervisor or a student with a long-term substitute teacher, trust that intents are good will need to be built.  

Intent and impact are also not always aligned. I wish I could credit the podcast I heard discussing this concept, but it was a powerful conversation I have spoken about frequently since listening. The impact of one's actions can be very different from one's intent. I think everyone has intended to say or do something supportive or light-hearted, only to learn that our impact was harmful or hurtful. The intent does not necessarily matter in these situations, as damage was done. But, the ability to recover is expedited if there is a trusting relationship and the wronged person can move forward knowing the person's intent was not what happened.

Capabilities are generally first assumed about someone based on their past experiences. When I'm hiring a new teacher, I first need to review their application and supporting documents. From there, I can trust that someone can perform the job. But after trust comes verification, and that is the interview process. Once on the job, that person has to prove they are capable by doing their job well, continuing to learn, and providing value back to the school and students. Leaders need to show they are capable through their decisions and communication. One good or bad decision does not mean the leader is or isn't capable, but each decision builds more of the story about that leader. If they stack good decisions, then trust in their capability grows. Compounding bad decisions, and they are looking for another job. Coach's guidance must prove to their clients they can move past their sticking points and towards extraordinary success.

Integrity, intent, and capability are the Venn diagram of results. A person with integrity and good intent but lacking the capabilities will be well-regarded as a person but as the wrong person for the job. A person who is capable and has good intent but lacks integrity will produce results in the short term. Still, eventually, their shortcuts or malfeasance will catch up with devastating impacts. A person with high integrity and capabilities but with lousy intent is more challenging to consider, but this person will end up causing people to dislike and isolate them, making positive results less likely.